why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
