ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
