I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize