I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can I color on your dick again?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
