i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
