Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
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I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize