Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
