trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
