How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
