my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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