he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
