never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm both gender and math confused
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
