i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Who died my cat blue again?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
