I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
