Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
