I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
