so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
