the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
