DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You pole danced in your parka.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
