Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
