I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
