it hurts more in the daytime
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
