Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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