I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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