Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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