she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
