It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
