I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
