i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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