I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
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But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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