Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize