He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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