if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
