Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
