Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
