he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
