so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
