Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
