You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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