Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
