that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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