i permit you to call me
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
