We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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