but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize
