last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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