found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
