whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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