We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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