hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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