2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
