Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Four minutes until I can fart!
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
