mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
