omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize