i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
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By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!