In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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