Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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