I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
