Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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