how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i out mim tonsoeep
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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