we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
