just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize