My brain says no but my pants say off.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
