It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's never too late to be topless.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
