Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
