I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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