Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize