i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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