i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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